Ayahuasca: a journey through hell and heaven? Part 2

Nutrition and productivity blog 30

Continued from part 1…

The day began with me collecting everything I needed for the ceremony – white clothes, a bucket and a totem. The white clothing was to bring a feeling of togetherness to the group, the bucket to capture any vomit and the totem as a personal symbolic item to set our intentions around for the session. We had all been told to fast for 24 hours before the session.

We all meet at 4pm in a safe, comfortable space. I was there with 9 other psychonautical adventurers and the facilitator. We got dressed in white and began the ceremony at 6pm. There were two concoctions to drink – the ayahuasca bark (a monoamine oxidase inhibitor MAOI) and then the DMT substance 30 minutes later. I took a medium dosage as this was advised by those participants who had been on previous sessions. Anything less may have been too weak and ineffective. Anything too strong could lead to a difficult session.

We had to hold down any vomit for 30 minutes after drinking DMT to ensure enough got into the bloodstream. I did feel like vomiting on several sessions throughout the night – but none came.

Twenty minutes after drinking the DMT tea came the most amazing visual hallucinations – geometric and fractal images that stretched to infinity. Recalling the specific visuals is impossible – even though you’re totally lucid at the time. After this came period came hell: severe emotional distress – so deep, burning and intense it felt like I was dying. But once I applied some yogic breathing techniques I felt waves of serenity, deep love, peace, joy and some of the most beautiful visuals and colours. It’s hard to explain this to others – it must be experienced to be understood.

There were voices in my mind – the voice of my conscious self and of something else – a compassionate, loving entity who advised me on areas of my life. One of the big take aways from this voice was that there were small little acts I wasn’t doing, that I was missing out on that would make massive differences in work, relationships and other areas. Subtle things that would lead to a 10x output.

The ayahuasca came and went in waves. At several points I felt like I was dying – each successive wave was worse than the last. This experience showed me how weak and vulnerable I am in a sense; it showed me the massive range of human emotion and pain. Each time I worked through these difficult points I was rewarded with intensely positive emotions and sensory experiences. Each time more rewarding than the last. It was like going up levels in a computer game.

Other things I got from the experience:

  • It showed me stronger versions of myself and others – the actual visuals of the stronger self and others.
  • I seen mischievous goblins made of trees.
  • The voice spoke to me and showed me the different connections it was making in my mind and heart and told me no need to remember everything I experience in session.
  • At one point I wasn’t able to think any words or anything – I was intensely confused. It taught me to deal with that in a more effective way.
  • It showed me the stark judgements I made of others and myself. It reminded me to see that these thoughts are not me.

At 12 midnight – the effects of the DMT had passed and the facilitator called time on the session and we broke our fast. We stayed up chatting and reflecting until 1.30am before going to sleep. Sleep was deep and rejuvenating. In the morning we all touched base again on our experiences, had breakfast and wrapped up. The next day was pleasant, serene and relaxed.

Although the session was intense with moments of darkness it was worth it for the healing of negative emotions and finding a closer connection to positive emotions.


Disclaimer: the content provided in this blog is the personal opinions of the Nutrition and Productivity Blog / Patrick McCay and is provided for informational purposes only and does not constitute any type of professional advice. The content may or may not be true. The Nutrition and Productivity Blog / Patrick McCay makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information on this site and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its display or use. The Nutrition and Productivity Blog /Patrick McCay encourages you to seek the advice of the relevant licensed professionals before making any decisions related to health.

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